воскресенье, 31 июля 2011 г.

“I could be better”


 (picture* "to be in Jail" is the state of the  soul)
“I could be better”  - is the mechanism of not accepting   yourself. It`s built on how you  appreciate  youself concerning  people  around you. And  they will  always  be not satisfied with you until they see  reflections  of their pain, fears and aggression in you as  in  a mirror.
When we do not  fulfill  other people's expectations  they  become dissatisfied with us. For some reason  we do not believe  ourselves  but their  opinion  becomes more important for us. And we  start to think like “I could be better”. I could get more attention from the outside. I could go even further away from himself. I could do anything  for  others  ... I want them to be pleased with  me.... because I already do not care for myself at all...  I gave up... I betrayed myself... betrayed for so long that I even forgot. And now the only authority for me it is other people's perception of me.
When we put on the authority of someone else but yourself. We no longer trust ourselves and fall into the trap – “I cannot fulfill someone else's expectations.”

You can never  fulfill other people expectations ... the Others will ALWAYS  be dissatisfied with something .  As  the cause is within them. .. but not inside you!! When you cannot take a breath in and exhale for its own sake, .. just to be...  be yourself.... sitting on the beach... on the swing .. standing in the market among a crowd of passers-by ....then you become modeling clay in the hands of other people's reflections. You give yourself to reflections. You say:   I could be better  for them ... .. to make them feel better.
You ask yourself what should I do to fulfill their wishes? ... but YOU completely forget about yourself. If the sun forgets about itself .. it goes out. Because it's THE SUN .. IT IS ! If it would consider how the  best to shine for   creatures and planets... it will run on space  searching  of a better LOCATION.   One day the SUN will  say: “I could light  better!”  - and will  fall into depression!
But everything outside is  just a reflection of you from inside. It's You are the One who wants to feel better. So you are trying to "appease" the reflections .
And  you say:
- When everybody outside calm down  I will not see   reflections of my  pain in their claims to me. I'll be happy then ...
(Nataliia Severska (Allayae)

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