Typical Seeker - tries to cut off his hand to chop wood better.

Yesterday, when we were working with Leslav and detected a cool mechanism, that we called: Trying go out of the room by closing the door.
But how? Quite primitive – just try it!
It happens when a person resists his desires and needs. And  having  right instrument, he uses it in a contrary direction.  He considers  these actions  to help him to be happy – but it comes out with depression, aggression, dissatisfaction and lack of understanding.
So, one friend writes to me and states that he completely got stuck on his way to enlightenment.  He is laughing all the  time  and  understands it all, but oneness still doesn’t come. So, we made a simple analogy and here’s what we got by the end:
Me: When you want to exit the room (to reach enlightenment – oneness), but attempt to make it by closing the door – you use the right instrument in a wrong direction. Now go and try to get out of the room, closing the door. And think of Enlightenment, standing beyond this door.
He: I try. I didn’t succeed.
Me: Why?
He: There’s no space for me to exit, the passage  is getting too narrow.
Me: Why does it narrow?
He: I am closing  the door.
Me: Now find out, where do you “close the door” in your process. Draw an analogy : How do you try  to open the door of Enlightenment and determine what is Door* in this equation.
He: As far as I understand, it’s exactly the search of my Self that gets in the way. Expectation of something unusual.
Me:  What is  “The door”  ? Is it  the “search” or “something unusual”?
He: Expectation of clarity, openness and attempts to throw away everything that, I suppose, stands in the way of it.
Me: So closing the door – means throwing away everything that hampers, so the Door means something, that you think, stands in the way. What is it? Can you describe?
He: These are thoughts about myself… the feeling of myself… even more of a feeling than thoughts.
Me: so you try to close the door – by getting rid of yourself?
He: yeah, I am trying to rid from the feeling of individual me.
Me: So, you, as an average Seeker, try to annihilate yourself, to become your Self* - in this way  you are  closing  the door.
He: hmm… but the sense of myself is perceived  as a source of the problem. And automatically there’s a burning desire to get rid of it. Hehe… *scratches head*
Me: yeah. Typical Seeker – tries to cut off his hand to chop wood better. It’s as if you said: I need to destroy myself  to  become COMPLETE. Where’s the logic?
He: Logic is screwed up… *laugh*
 (Nataliia Severska (Allayae)